Blame Men
Blame Mann
Blame Man
Blame Me
______________

Ouch!
that hurt
me deeply...
I realize now
that I am
the only one
that feels your
inflicted pain
Prick!
(thatyouare)
Ouch!
_____________
Yesterday,
I watched as a Praying
Manntis
devoured it's prey...
I saw his sneak attack!
I watched him as he actually swayed
and mimicked the breeze...
while on bended knees
before his graceful bushwack!

I saw him lick his lips
as he knelt in prayer
for a longer time
than usual...
which  was not typical, and
I assumed that he was
just digesting
his pray...
___________________________

You confuse me
with "your story"
that you never really stick to...
So what am
I supposed to do?
Bend backwards with
your fly-by-nite
whims or believe the
story that you told me just
the day before?
What is it, really...
that you are wanting
to stick to?
Your actions
seem to speak
to me
louder! than your words
and I am confused
by your tale...

Drive around
in circles
until you
find my exit...
the one 
that you
are willing
to pull off for...
or else
veer left
and keep on
going in circles
Around me...

Fair of hair
Fair of skin
And fairer, yet
of eyes...and I
Am attracted to
The loftness of
Your aloofness
And would love
To feel how it
Feels to soar in
Your fair highs...

You are
like a sickness 
I just had
to catch
to build upon
my immunities...
and when I did... 
Your love
was my cure
and your
Antidote
was what
I doted upon...
__________________

I seem to be
over you now...
and I am
Feeling well...

I think I am over
Your ague
But, only
Time will tell...
___________________


...and you said... "no...
I am planted, here"...as you
sat upon the concrete bench
amongst,, my other concrete,
potted plants, and  I realized
that your were deeply, rooted
and thrived from my concretes...
_______________________

I find myself in a sort of
sorted state of affairs...
where nothing makes sense
and no one seems to care
about the outcome...
____________________

I...will
Never...ever...
Equal...equal
And common sense 
Cannot be communed
By your senselessness...

The bottomed line is...
I...am
Not crazy enough
To stay with you
And you're not sane enough
To live with me...
_______________________

Thats a wrap...goodnight, to once in a BlueMoon...

you hurt so deep
when you cut me to the quick 
and i pray quickly
to bleed to death
where i can no longer
feel your pain
and it will be over soon
over and over and over again...
as i am left out here
all alone with no one
to bandage the Payne
i am feeling so deeply
...and you will sleep alone again tonight
as the night owls hoot their wisdoms...
of "another nite in 'our' bed" alone
without me feeling naked
to your undeniable truths
because only bare verses
are how you see
our lives played out...
sniff, sniff, drop many a tear
or two...and chuckle, chuckles as
'we wipe' our eyes in sorrow, then
 proceed on to the next day
of an unpredictable life...
(please take your medications)
not too late and make ammends
to bypass the day
of how well
you know
me...

another day has just disappeared
when voices and eyes were
unsyncronized by the sun and the moon...

...i take this personally
and from what i gather
you do too...so answer
what part of my truths
did you not understand?
when i was looking you
eye to eye, and you saw
the tears spill over the edge
of our lives and drip solid
from my unblinking eyes
and all i saw was images 
of hate and spite spill over
the brim of the edges of
your eyes that dripped
the reflections of my truths
and when "i" asked you if
"you had anything that you
needed to say to "me", "no"
was so the wrong answer...
i am now going to hang
all my faith upon a wishing
and giving tree and leave to
branch out from here...to
hear your sad, song, sang
in muted whispers of what
you really wanted and
(maybe needed) to really say,
well...you know...to me...
please always know that i will
find the truths of our lives
are better savored than
flavored with spiteful lies...
blink, and let the tears fall
where they may...

i found some religion today
from my backyard ministry...
the choir of birds sang songs
that i actually understood
and could sing along with...
and my backyard altar
was festooned from the
roots of well worked earth...
with pink, yellow and white
phlox, reubeckia and daisies
and...of course all the shades
of multi greens in staggering
heights and shapes...a man
a mann...amen...

...and every once in a while
this long, fiberous,
deeply, rooted branch
will reach, way out there
to the end
of a scraggly limb
to ruffletheleaves
on me and my tree...
using witty cliches', like
make like a "tree and leave",
 'me' all alone...
"touche"
i say,
and the twig replies...
make like the wind and blow
me away...
and to that I have no reply
only poignant, pondering thoughts...
of confidence
without arrogance
which has to be
a good character trait...
and no...i don't really know you
at all, but i like what i have seen
thus far and my pholox
is starting to flower so it must be
time to regain composure...
but...
does having a lover
and, or  being a lover
neccessairly mean that
you are in love, because
what about the loves that
you create, when you use
your hands to masterbate
that leave you with no real
gratification, but are so real
in that giving, given timed moment
of self indulgent love?
when we loved each other, deeply
long before we knocked
upon each others doors 
and opened up
so freely...
 

I have rode the wave of your ride
and felt the ebb of your tide...
and now i just need some air to
breathe...freshly
In hell, ex-hell
breathe...deeply
I am exhausted and tired of taking
the blame for things that you say
you can't remember saying...

I have heard you say
that you need a way out,
so, don't  figure in, any communed
sense factors', especially to real life...
our lives are at full speed ahead
and it is just, another
typical, night where
practice makes perfect, perfections
so Shut the fuck up!!!
don't make me write it OUTLOUD!!!
because  the less i say
is the more i am heard, even when
(mummed is the word)!!!

if you dare not ask?
i'll dare not say!!!
...and we will end this day
on what is becoming
 typical...
with nothing else to say
to each other...
(mummed is the word)
i am a hold your tongue
kind of WoMANN!!!